Numbies in my gummies

So I went to the dentist today. AGAIN. But now that almost every single tooth in my head is filled, I don’t have to go back until August for a cleaning. (Someone remind me to start flossing between now and August, OK?)

To tell you the truth, my experience at the dentist wasn’t too too bad. There was no crying this time so that’s a plus! There was a lot of scared-shitless-shaking though. I think it had something to do with the fact that I was clenching every muscle in my body as tightly as I possibly could for a half hour straight. That counts as exercise, right? I’m totally skipping the gym tonight.

Even though I couldn’t feel a thing, the idea of what was going on in my mouth was freaking me out. I mean, some dude I just met last month was DRILLING into my teeth! And he was filling them with something that smelled a lot like nail polish! And that suction thingy was going crazy and attacking my tongue! And my lips were all stretched and maybe I had a booger in my nose and maybe there’s nail polish on my teeth! Blarg!

The whole time I was under THE DRILL I was trying to think of something else, anything else. So I started thinking about what I would buy myself as a reward for being so human and doing something that most [insured] humans do all the time. And then I started thinking about how terrible it is that I would reward myself with a thing. What would “the experts” say? They’d probably say it isn’t healthy to reward yourself with food or things. They’d say that a nice walk in Central Park or an extra 5 minutes of “me time” is a more appropriate way to reward oneself for a regular human activity.

But screw that, bitches. I’m gettin’ me a new dress.