me so special

i never feel as ugly and awkward as i do when i'm getting my eyebrows waxed.

for those of you haven't had the pleasure of seeing me close up, you should know, for the purposes of this drawn out post, that my right eyebrow has a cowlick and the hairs grow straight up instead of lying nice and flat like a good eyebrow should. and yes, i've tried training the hairs to lie in a more normal and socially acceptable fashion, but clear mascara and little eyebrow brushes have nothing on nature. my aunt suzanne used to lick her thumb and use it to push the hairs down whenever i saw her growing up. which was a lot. but it was all in vain, and it was kind of gross now that i think about it.

i've learned to live with my eyebrow. sometimes i even dig it.

but oh good god. EVERY waxer feels the need to comment on my eyebrows. usually i just explain, "cowlick. wax below. clip above. they'll never be twins. it's ok. thanks" and we all go on with our biznas. but i had an extra special waxing experience last week.

i went to the usual mani/pedi/wax place near work, but my usual esthetician was busy with another customer. i considered waiting for her to finish because she's fab and she never comments on my brow, but i eventually threw caution to the wind and followed a new, tiny Asian woman to the waxing room.

after i had assumed the usual waxing position on the table, the tiny Asian woman got her first good look at my brow. and when she saw it she screamed, "SPECIALLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!"

me: yeah. cowlick. wax below. clip above. they'll never be twins. it's ok. thanks.

tiny Asian lady: SPECIAL HAIRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on my way out the door and in front of all the girls getting their mani/pedis, the tiny Asian lady screamed, "TAKE BUSINESS CARD. SPECIAL EYEBROW!!!!! SPECIAL HAIRS!!!!!"

i guess it could have been worse? i guess i'd rather tell this story than one that goes... spread my legs for a brazilian and upon seeing my vagina for the first time the large Eastern European bikini waxer screamed, "SPECIALLLLLLL!!!!!" right?

3 comments:

mm said...

i like the eyebrow. also that lady should be shot.

Amy said...

people always yell at me how special my vagina is. i thought that was normal?

Sharon said...

this post made me spit out my tea.