Considering starting a "burka chic" trend

I recently discovered a new route to work that cuts my commute time by at least 20 minutes. This is good news because…yay for an extra 20 minutes of sleep! This is also sort of embarrassing news to admit because uhhhhh… I’ve lived in my apartment for almost a year and I just figured this out? (Sort of reminds me of when I lived in Chicago and took two El trains to work for a year before discovering there was one bus that practically provided door-to-door service from my apartment to my office.)

Anyway. New route. It’s pretty awesome. I would go so far as to say that it’s totally awesome when the F train is working and I don’t have to cut back into Brooklyn to get to Manhattan. The only problem with it is that I have to walk through a neighborhood where for some reason, large groups of men like to gather on the corner at 8:00 am to catcall women who pass by.

Walking past these guys and hearing comments like…


“Lookin’ good, mama.”

“Can I get some of that?”

“Lovin’ that hair.”

“Give me a smile.”


“So sweet.”


Or really anything along those lines…

is like walking a gauntlet of humiliation. It’s by far the worst part of my day.

These things don’t make women feel good. Or at least they don’t make me feel good. I don’t get on the subway and smile because the guys on the corner thinks my ass looks tight today. I don’t feel better about myself because some dude thinks that I, “walk like a lioness” (yep, I’ve heard it). Honestly…the whole thing makes me feel shameful. And it sort of makes me want to wear a burka. Or at the very least…my ugly winter coat.

And the thing is…these guys don’t think I’m pretty. They see something resembling a female form approach and this stuff just starts spewing out of their mouths. Why? Because they are men and they can and because I’m a chick alone on my way to work and what am I going to do about it?

What am I going to do about it? I’m looking into opportunities to teleport to work. Let me know if you think this is possible…


Courtney said...

If someone told me I walked like a lioness, I think I would high five them....and then immediately spray their face with pepper spray.

Creepy men are the worst.

Bridget said...

One word: super-soaker. Oh, oh I got a good one! RAPE HORN! Just start blowing. Those things are so loud, they'll all be too shocked to say anything else.

Meredith said...

Why is it that some men haven't figured this out yet? Honestly, it's perplexing. I like the horn suggestion.

Jenni said...

Teleporting? I'd love that! Tell me how it goes (then how to do it!)

And aren't men like that disgusting? I hate it. I had that happen many times before and it annoys me like crazy. Ugh. Sorry you have to deal with that everyday. :(

and ps- that poop jacket is hilarious. I laughed out loud.

Kelley said...

The guys that sit outside the car park next to the office are pretty bad too. It makes me feel soo uncomfortable.