stalk soon

Since moving to New York, I’ve been on two dates with two different dudes. One was fine and the other was just a SNOOZE. And I must have made quite the impression on snoozer man because since we went out two weeks ago, he has tried contacting me no less than TEN times.

The first time he called me (after our date) it was 4 o’clock in the afternoon and I was in the office, sitting at my desk. I sent him to voicemail because…hello! I’m at work! My plan was to call him back when I got home and give him the old, “hey listen, you’re a nice guy, but I just don’t feel a connection” speech. But before I had the chance to even step off the subway in Queens that night, he sends me a text. Dude…I know you called. It was 2 hours ago. Cool it.

So yeah, I was annoyed and I didn’t call him back. So then he sends me another text and it said, “Do you want to go camping this weekend?” CAMPING? First of all, I hate the outdoors. I know that’s a controversial thing to say, but it’s true. Second, I don’t think it’s appropriate to ask someone you’ve met once, for one hour, to come away with you for an entire weekend. I texted him back and said, “No thanks!”

Silly me, I thought someone would get the message after eight additional texts/emails/calls went unreturned. And yes, I know. I KNOW. The right thing to do would have been to answer one of those calls and say, “BITE ME”, but is a break up conversation really necessary after one date?

Boys and girls, listen to momma…if you reach out to someone via telephone, email, text messaging, Skype, whatever, you put the ball in the other person’s court. This means it’s up to the other person to reply. And believe me, if s/he wants to talk to you, s/he will respond! Another thing to keep in mind…if you write someone an email and that email goes unanswered, this does not give you permission to switch communication mediums and try texting. Or IMing. Or whatever.

Moral of this story: I don’t like camping. And no one likes a stalker.