in the closet

I read a women’s interest article a long time ago about a woman who kept buying black miniskirts. She’d go shopping with friends and just keep picking up more and more black miniskirts, she couldn’t get enough of them. I have this same problem, but with tent dresses and muumuus. Basically anything shapeless and inspired by maternity wear, I will purchase and wear. Proudly.

Now that I’ve kicked an eating disorder and moved to a city that requires me to walk five miles every day, I have this hot little bod. I should show it off, right? I don’t want to! I insist on wearing huge menswear type tops. I drool over voluminous, ruffled dresses. I like to wake up, put on as many clothes as possible and then add a pair of skinny jeans. I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but dude…perfectly polished outfits are foreign to me. And frankly, they freak me out.

But whatev. Until Rachel Zoe comes to my aid, I will continue to seek out that perfectly large and rectangular piece of fabric...and I will call it a dress. And so it shall be.

Anyways, couple things...

I’m wearing one of these head wraps today, but mine is made of feathers. I’m in love! And only one person has called me Pocahontas so far.

I’m very interested in wearing a long dress at least once this summer. When I first saw them popping up in magazines as this summer’s “must have item”, I wasn’t a believer. But now I think…maybe? Maybe if it’s a nice, solid color? Can I wear it to work with a little cardigan over it or something? Thoughts?

Can you tell I’ve been surrounded exclusively by straight dudes for the past three weeks? If this little fashion rant hasn’t tipped you off, perhaps I’ll pull down my pants and show you my penis.

And on that note…if you’re female and you like in the Greater New York Area and you’d like to be my friend…well…I’m taking applications. HELP ME GET MY VAGINA BACK.

1 comment:

Sharon said...

I'm coming! Seriously! Like, super soon! And we can go shopping for tent dresses to your little heart's content. Well -- you'll shop and I'll watch, because I'll be unemployed. However -- I too, have been pondering the feathered headband and am curious as to how you "worked it," as they say. Picture please?