his hair was longer and prettier than mine

i met an interesting fellow last week...a philosophy major that strongly resembled another philosophy major i know. anyway, we sat in his office chatting about the allegory of the cave and morals and ethics and do they even exist? and this chair...this chair that i'm sitting on...does it really exist? how do we know? and just when i thought he might throw himself out of the chair and on to the floor to really drive his point home, he looked at me and said, "wow. i'm impressed. you have FANGS!"