new rule...

Friday, June 15, 2007

I'm going to come right out and say something that really needs to be said. It isn't all that necessary to wash your hands after using the bathroom.

I don't always wash my hands after peeing.

Actually, more often than not, I'll pee and take off. Just like that. Like it ain't no thang.

Because it ain't no thang.

So. A quick message to all my co-workers who make a big show out of lathering up after each trip to the loo. I feel like you're only washing your hands for show. And I feel like you might have OCD.

Some of you wont even touch the bathroom door handle after washing your hands. I've seen you. You take an extra paper towel to use as some kind of weird "germ condom" against whatever bathroom organisms are living on the handle.

Al Gore would cry if he knew you were wasting paper that way.

Seriously…you'll eat chicken packed full of antibiotics and milk fortified with hormones, but you don't want to touch a door handle? How many sick days have you already taken this year? Because I touch all door handles that stand between me and the room I'd like to enter, and I'm never sick.

There is a drug that can help with your OCD. Please…for your health…ask your doctor if Prozac is right for you.

I mean…I'm just sayin…

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